It's been four years and counting

But now it's time for a move: www.youbejackin.wordpress.com

The whole shebang

This whole week just felt like one of the strangest ones. For one, the two-day farewell affair for Ie Ting brought about one too many run-on mornings and nights which got my days all confused, deadlines all forgotten, and dreams all too strange (y'know tiredness fucks up the state of your sub-conscious well-being). That lack of presence at home (ie; even less than the usual not-enough) got the parents less-than-pleased, but goodbyes were in order and time just happened to be the currency, though on hindsight, that didn't (and perhaps shouldn't, in some sense) have to be.

But that was that, and I'm now unceremoniously stripped of the privilege of receiving pocket money. And I thought this was a cheap tactic parents employ against their teenagers. I hate that I'm 21 and still vulnerable.

So one thing led to another and last night on the way home, Ko promised me that we'll head back to SPH together and re-live those days of having too much to do in too little time. It's sadistic, but I know we both secretly enjoyed the slavery. That, and maybe because I miss being in the loop and knowing the news even without reading the papers (a very ironic thing for a journalist to say, I know). Then again, she was drunk last night in the cab and would probably not remember having had the conversation at all.

Bottom line? My life's pretty much sold and I won't have time for anything else but damn, do I miss my desk in the office. Not the one which I sat at when I was with Urban (hell, no!), but the one right beside Ko with Austin Powers watching over us. The one with the good porn shui.

Anyway, in the span of one week, I've had several revelations:
1. I am very susceptible to getting carried away
2. I am not a fighter, so if I'm losing, then I've lost
3. Moving on in life is like much like transit from one dimension to another

In a nutshell, I've gotten carried away, I haven't fought, I've lost, and life as of now constitutes as moving on. And I'm not quite sure how that makes me feel about people and love and the whole shebang.

August 13, one-day-old bloodstains

Spot the footprint
August 15, Zouk with murderous tribesmen























August 16, Zouk, Butter Factory






















Jack says:
you know like the superbad picture at the end of th enight where no one was ready for the camera?
Jack says:
and i looked like a freaking pufferfish?
inertiatic esp says:
HAHA
inertiatic esp says:
im surprised you posted that
Jack says:
it’s super hilarious
Jack says:
YOU TOOK IT
inertiatic esp says:
I DID?
Jack says:
YEAH
Jack says:
i was like TIFF HELP US TAKE A PICTURE
Jack says:
and you were like ok
inertiatic esp says:
hahahahahahaha
Jack says:
and you didnt bother waiting for us to be ready
Jack says:
YOU JUST SNAPPED

To be young and in love

"Today was just one of the funniest days ever," came his reply when I asked after him and the girlfriend.

His eyes sought visual rest in the math textbook laid out before him which, just maybe, he had no problems not getting distracted by. Young love was in full throttle and he smiled his 15-year-old smile (straight out, without a tinge of anything else) as a verbal recount of the day in 30 seconds was in order.

Then I talked to her, and then I didn't talk to her, and I talked to her, and I didn't... And on the bus home, there was this guy behind us making stupid noises, so I imitated him and my girlfriend and I laughed like crazy.

So I said, "You have to treasure that, because the older you get, the harder it is to find someone that you can love just like that."

August 12, of goodbyes, spilled champagne, and a broken bottle




Stolen from Facebook

Out on the pavement

I remember everything from that night. I remember Enrique's fighting spirit. I remember Vanessa's queries and non-vehement, non-victorious quitting. I remember Nicky proclaiming that he was alright, only to cat-out-bag by collapsing into Clara's shoulder. I remember Ko's calls, and her attempts at luring me off the sidewalk with precariously awaiting jagerbombs. I remember Cedric stepping in and out of my mind at will. I remember Ie Ting sitting beside me and calling Nicholas 'Nicky' even though it was the first time they had met. I remember the sound of people gagging and retching. I remember hearing strange men saying "1010" in Mandarin; that could either be a girl's Chinese name, or my mobile number.

I remember someone went "This is what I want."
What I can't remember is the last time I said that about someone/something with such absolute, enviable conviction.

August 9, Velvet












ONE
TWO
THREE, OKAY.








What Clara doesn't remember.



August 10, where I remain sick and sick-looking

I realised that my phone almost never leaves my hand.

He's too sexy for my light-stick

School had the uncanny ability of making me hit the sack by 10pm even without the promise of a new pair of shoes. Now that the job is (sadly) over and done with, I find myself in a limbo between the old life and the old-new life (school life and party life respectively).

12am is the critical hour; it's when my mind's telling me the party is just about to get started, and also when my body exhaustion meter hits the Fatigue realm.

Last night, as the clock struck 12, my mouth went into intensive yawning mode. I swear the DJ thinks I'm a major bitch.

July 31, last day of school


I WILL REMEMBER ALL OF YOU
POOR APRIL GOT SMACKED IN THE HEAD UNSUSPECTINGLY!

Failed jump shots














Ripped from Corrine's blog

In a very good way, you people helped me remember how it was like to be 13 :)
August 2, Butter Factory



He warned: "DON'T POST PICTURES OF ME IN YOUR BLOG."
But this is too precious too keep.
Dude yanked the green light-stick right out of my mouth and stuck it in his!
And it's all cool because he's too sexy for...

Disclaimer

This is a note for my soon-to-be-ex students, because I've come to realise that this blog may project a certain impression that possibly steers towards the direction of undesirability and decadence, thus rendering me (but hopefully not) as the scum of the earth.

Before you scroll to discover for yourself through a series of gasps and eyes-widening episodes, here are my confessions:

1) I smoke (am quitting and en route to being healthy)
2) I consume alcohol
3) I party a lot
4) I used to sleep in class way too much
5) But I do study so you should too (I'm not bullshitting)

Anyway, no matter what conclusion you do eventually come to, just know that right and wrong start out as absolutes (smoking is wrong, studying is right; disobeying is wrong, following is right; vulgarities is wrong, being nice is right etc.), but Time does something to switch things around.

I don't know what it is with people as they get older either. We all pretty much start out morally upright, but things get confusing along the way.

There could be a few reasons for that. Perhaps we just decide eventually that the Wrongs aren't all that bad after all. Perhaps age leads to certain forms of unexpected insolence from those who (perhaps) should've known better. Perhaps we just grow to realise that, more often than not, following all the rules don't get you anywhere.

Whatever it is, there are too many things that I, as a mere 21-year-old, cannot deem fit to explain, but you'll find your own answers one day.

School thus far

I haven't changed my mind - I still hate school. I still hate the fact that students are made to robotically chorus in unison the good-mornings, thank-yous, and goodbyes that mean naught more often than not. I hate that anything short of fake enthusiasm demands for a second try - why make school life doubly fake, and the hand over us doubly oppressive? I hate the absurdity of certain school rules and the inflexibility of the people who make them. I hate the mechanism of the school system which boxes in its students within the realm of You-And-I, Do's-And-Don'ts, and Right-And-Wrong (nothing's that simple - absolute authority, sometimes, is just for the sake of convenience). I hate that students are taught the words, but are not given the voice.

For someone who talks way too much about freedom and rights to choice, going back to school could possibly seem like the worst decision. Suddenly I was catapulted into the position of a leader-by-example. Being a leader was bad enough. Being an example... Let's just say that was a never-before phenomenon.

Scolding kids for talking/sleeping/eating in class was something that I hated doing, if not for anything, then for the fact that I did all of those in abundance when I was back in school. Reprimanding them for doing what I did would be nothing short of being a flaming hypocrite (And the grades also showed that I did do better than many who paid undivided attention in class, so the trick really is to just study right). But of course, as a teacher, I had to do my job and that entails enforcing disciplinary measures to make sure the students learn.

I didn't say anything, but this internal conflict between responsibility and belief got me rather miserable, like I was going against everything that I'd lived by in the last decade or something.

All of the above-mentioned, coupled with the fact that I was sent home to change too often for comfort (which, incidentally, also rendered me as the butt of many jokes where my friends are concerned) were the reasons that contributed to my quitting of the job.

And now that next Thursday is drawing close, I don't think I can bring myself to just clear my desk and leave. There are just too many people that I've grown to care for. They are the ones that make me love my job, in spite of all that I hate about it.

July 17, Koko's











July 19, Holland V, Home Club, Butter Factory, Zouk


Ko's very gross bruise















July 24 and 25, school

CORRECTION TAPE OVERLOAD

The staff room gets boring

I think they were totally hamming it up for the camera
Really, really like this picture






















:( Still can't believe I'm leaving
July 25, Beatnik Picnic, Novus, Zouk



Eugene thinking: I'M ALMOST AS TALL AS KEVIN WHEN I TIP-TOE.














July 26, town, Ko's, and Zouk



AH-CHOO

Baby does the tee

I secretly <3 Memes

10 Year Meme: Nat > Joanies > Me

Now let's go back in time.

1) How old were you?
THEN: Almost 11.
NOW: Almost 21.

2) Where did you go to school?
THEN: Pioneer Primary School (never send your kids there).
NOW: Going to either Melbourne Uni or Monash Uni.

3) Where did you work?
THEN: Free labour in school (Duty roster, anyone?).
NOW: Temp labour in school (English teacher... UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH! I've resigned.)

4) Where did you live?
THEN: Same old,
NOW: Same old.

5) How was your hairstyle?
THEN: Pretty-long hair always up in a pony tail.
NOW: Pretty-long hair never up in a pony tail.

6) Did you wear braces?
THEN: Nopes.
NOW: Just got the damned thing off.

7) Did you wear contacts?
THEN: I wonder if I knew what they were.
NOW: Always.

8) Did you wear glasses?
THEN: Got my very first pair and was very gullibly glad.
NOW: Hardly ever, even at home.

9) Who was your best friend?
THEN: This is tough. I don't remember having had one.
NOW: I don't have one, though Georgia was the best one ever for the longest time.

10) Which of your pets was still alive?
THEN: I used to have a dog called Stubby. Don't remember how old I was, though.
NOW: None, but I want a fat, lazy cat.

11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
THEN: Haha, I got my first boyfriend when I was 12.
NOW: Now I'm almost-21 and good boys don't come along as easily.

12) Who was your celebrity crush?
THEN: Don't. Ask.
NOW: SO MANY; Adam Brody, Chace Crawford, Richard Gere etc. (Very important update: I totally dig Logan from Veronica Mars; not the cutest boy ever, but he does the almost-reformed, brooding bad boy thing best. I'd go nutters over a boy like that.)

13) Who was your regular-person crush?
THEN: A boy that looked like a turtle. I swear it's true. I thought it was cute, but asshole liked some other girl.
NOW: I think Adam Brody is no freak of nature. Regular 'nuff.

14) How many piercings did you have?
THEN: 2, one on each ear.
NOW: 3, two on one ear and one on the other. I had an eyebrow piercing a few years back, though.

15) How many tattoos did you have?
THEN: None.
NOW: Two.

16) What was your favorite band/singer?
THEN: I loved The Moffatts. They had the whole triplets thing going on.
NOW: Jimmy Eat World, and random shit like... Nada Surf and Timbaland?

17) Had you smoked cigarettes?
THEN: I hated cigs with a vengeance. Used to hide my Dad's - it pissed him off.
NOW: Yes.

18) Had you got drunk?
THEN: I thought that drinking was the most adult thing ever, so no, judging by the unusual reverence I had for said sport.
NOW: All the damn time. And I think it's fucking immature hahahahaha.

19) Had you DRIVEN?
THEN: Nope, but I would place my hand on the gear shift and had Dad put his hand over mine so it seemed like I was the one shifting gears. I thought that was awesome.
NOW: Yeap, Ie Ting is a retard and let me drive his Dad's car license-less.

20) If so which car?
THEN: I think Dad drove a Toyota?
NOW: Can't remember Ie Ting's Dad's car.

21) Looking back are you where you thought you'd be in ten years time?
Err, no? I would've thought that I'm the most gangsta person ever, lol. C'mon, I used to think that dyeing your hair electric blue would be an unforgivable sin.